Today's edition of the long-running advice column Dear Abby offered a classic conundrum: a pre-nuptials spat over a wedding party member's opinions. However the squabble revolved around the inequity between gay and straight couples' ability to wed.
The set-up: Groom wants gay brother to be his best man. Bride to be is thrilled. Gay brother has reservations because he can't get married legally himself and feels being best man reinforces unjust system. Groom gets it, bride doesn't.
"How can I handle this without turning it into something that could overshadow what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life?" the Disappointed groom in Ohio asked.
Abby's advice was pretty much the standard "respect differences of opinion" response. With one exception, that is. In three sentences Abby put together a historic and global perspective on social progress. Here's the full answer as published in papers from Minnesota to Mississippi:
"By respecting your brother's decision and reminding your bride-to-be that accepting the status quo is not always the best thing to do. Women were once considered chattel, and slavery was regarded as sanctioned in the Bible. However, western society grew to recognize that neither was just. Canada, Belgium, the Netherlands and Spain have recognized gay marriage, and one day, perhaps our country will, too."
Potent stuff? Apparently some newspaper editors thought so.
The Houston Chronicle decided that the Biblical references were too much for their readers. Over at the Arizona Daily Star, the blue pencil gang concluded no one would cotton to the international angle. The Philadelphia Daily News cut out all the supporting arguments.
Amazingly, these papers have had no problems reprinting verbatim the nasty political admonishments uttered by right wingers like Ann Coulter, Senator Rick Santorum, or the Revs. Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. Agenda-driven punditry, of course, not only enflames passions - it sells a lot of extra copies too.
It's so much better to edit sensible advice from a venerable observer of human nature.
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